something that made me smile on a stressful day… I swear.. this will be me and my hubby in the future!! :))

So I’ve kinda been MIA…. yes I know.. not that I really think anyone reads my posts but I’m back :)) sorta.. kinda..

anyways..

Today was hell! There is no other way of describing it.  I’ve never in my life felt as overwhelmed as I have today. (well maybe once or twice in my marriage but thats over and done with).  I seriously thought I was having a heart attack up at work.  I couldn’t breathe, I was burning up, felt like I was honestly going to pass out, and I had the WORSE chest pains all day.. worst pain I’ve ever felt that I can honestly remember.  They just kept coming and coming and wouldn’t stop and then every time I turned around something else was just coming at me to make it even worse.  I was flippin out! I’m guessing one of the girls noticed I was having trouble and of couse she knew how stressful the day was and I’m assuming my face was white (I dunno.. didn’t look in the mirror .. just assuming) and she kept coming up to me and telling me to take deep breathes and calm down… at the time it really didn’t feel like it was working and close to the end of the day I started to freak out even more.. so I asked her to take my blood pressure.. something was wrong.. had to have been.. but she told me to sit down and try to relax, that she thought I was having a panic attack. I’ve never had one so I dunno.

Got home finally and just cried on my husband’s shoulders and of course.. He took care of me before he left for the night at work :(  I tried to smoke and eat something but I seriously can’t. sucks.

I’ve been eatting out this week and drinking non stop energy drinks and coffee out the butt… I’ve been stressing about the lil things and just allowing myself to get overwhelmed with life.  I think this was my body’s way of telling me to slow down and relax.. to take better care of myself for me and my children.  So instead of getting take out tonight, like I swore I would do when I left work cause I just didn’t feel up to cooking…. I made a chicken salad with lots and LOTS of veggies in it.. it was actually pretty good.. I didnt eat alot but what I did eat made me feel better.. knowing I was gonna do better.. :))

I jogged again yesterday (for the first time in months) however I’ve already forgotten how far I got … esh.. but I plan on keeping it up and I’m gonna try to cut down on my caffine intake.. I really feel that was a big part of today too…

and more water :))

So I know I’ve posted about thinking I was pregnant with this silly Mirena crap I have and I have FINALLY gone to the doctor.  I went on the 21st of July and told him everything that I have been feeling and how I just wasn’t comfortable with it anymore and would feel a lot better if I could switch back to the pill.  I know the pill, I’ve had it for  years before I decided to jump on the stupid 5 year birth control train, so i wanna go back.  He of course wanted to start of by being a jerk and saying that its the most affective birth control and the only way to check that nothing was wrong was to do an ultrasound and how I would know if it fell out and blah blah blah. Doctors are asses… theres nothing knew about that.  They feel that are smarter than you or nurses and tend to try to dumb you down sometimes ((not all but a lot of them are)) but anyways going on rabbit trails, as my Dad calls it. :)) Anyways.. got to the point where I finally told him.. its my body and I’m not feeling comfortable with it and I want it out and I know it didn’t fall out, I’m more worried about it going up! 

So I talk him into it and he tries to get it out… and its not working.  It was not coming out.  I have to say that was the worse pain I have felt in such a long time.  It literally felt that he was trying to tug all my insides out with it.  Needless to say, he was full of apologies after that.  He told me that he thought it had embedded into my cervix and that we were going to have to numb me up and try again. 

Soooooooooo… I went back yesterday.  Was kinda excited and alil nervous at the same time.  Figured I would go in there and they would numb me up and get it out.. as quick as possible and then I’d be done.  It didn’t work out that way.  He numbed my cervix and gave me as much as humanly possible and still could not get it. I really don’t feel that the medicine he gave me to numb me worked because I felt all the same pain as before.  He told me that now he thinks there is a small possiblity that it is working its way through my uterine wall but he can’t be for sure just yet.  I had to go for an ultrasound ((go figure)).  He gave me a shot for the pain and sent me on my way….

The lady that did my ultrasound was soo nice and told us that if something was majorly wrong she would not let me leave the hospital but other than that she isn’t allowed to tell us what she saw and that we have to wait for the doctor to call us back.  So here I am waiting… its actually extremely annoying.  I just want the damn thing out already!!

I’m hoping that its just that I’m a wuss and that it takes something real simple to get it out.  No surgeries cause I, for one, can’t afford to take off work and two, freaks the hell out of me. 

So pray for me and hope I get this stupid thing out soon!!  :/

Omg… I’m about ready to rip my freakin head off… like seriously someone pull the damn trigger… dl;fjl;ahfiasdflhasdl;ghiaqdfhja is all I can really say..

my kids have been some serious monsters today.. screwed me up at walmart, screamed when I had to run to the dollar store cause they made me forget important ingediants for dinner that I was suppose to get at walmart and screamed and yelled so much now I fucked up dinner… omg..

I made meatloaf and I was suppose to brown the meat, then mix everything together and cook it and my God…. I put raw meat in it!!! wth….  I’m hoping and praying to God that you can cook it like that in the oven and it turn out alright… and in time… I called my mother but the damn woman never NEVER answers the phone!!!! UGH!! ERRR!! AHHHHHHH!!! 

I need a glass of wine… period.  and about 4 thousand cigarettes…. bad.

hahaha.. couldn’t resist because of netflix my kids are completely into the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers! I can’t believe I never realised how corny this show really is… but the kids enjoy it! :))

its been a terrible day… feel like burying my head in the sand… :/

Yea…. its one of those days XD

Had a great Father’s Day weekend.. felt extremely good today :))

however tomorrow will be a different story cause we are suppose to have more storms.. BOO! :(

smaller-n-smaller:

healthyisthenewsexy:

barbiespartiesandsluts:

1. Height:
2. Shoe Size:
3. Sexual Orientation:
4. Do you Smoke?
5. Do you Drink?
6. Do you Take Drugs?
7. Age you get mistaken for:
8. Have Tattoos?
9. Want any tattoos
10. Got any Piercings?
11. Want any piercings?
12. Best friend?
13. Relationship status:
14. Biggest turn ons:
15. Biggest turn offs:
16. Favorite Movie:
17. I’ll love you if:
18. Someone you miss:
19. Most traumatic experience:
20. A fact about your personality:
21. What I hate most about myself:
22. What I love most about myself:
23. What I want to be when I get older:
24. My relationship with my sibling(s):
25. My relationship with my parents:
26. My idea of a perfect date:
27. My biggest pet peeves:
28. A description of the girl/boy I like:
29. A description of the person I dislike the most:
30. A reason I’ve lied to a friend:
31. What I hate the most about school:
32. What my last text message says:
33. What words upset me the most:
34. What words make me the best about myself:
35. A wish that I’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11:
36. What I find attractive in girls.
37. Where I would like to live.
38. One of my insecurities.
39. My childhood career choice.
40. My favorite ice cream.
41. Who I wish I could be.
42. Where I want to be right now.
43. The last thing I ate.
44. Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately.
45. A random fact about anything

I never do these because no one ever asks hahahaha but I figured since it’s Friday I would give it a go.

(Source: lessthanthreejb)

Today is my 5th Wedding Anniversary with my amazing husband.  We have had some really hard time but I have to say that at this moment I’m glad that we have made it through them together! I really truely love him soo much! I really do have a blessed life .. I just don’t say it enough! :))